As for posture, it represents the different motionless positions that we adopt. Posture without physical contact sends an emotional message only detectable by sight. We must recall that an exchange of affection is only possible if there is physical contact between two people. So, posture without contact will be preparation for an exchange of affection since body language plays an important part in emotional communication. Thus, many postures have a conscious signification: bending our head down while curving our back is a sign of sadness and submission; raising our shoulders means we don't know, putting a hand on our forehead signifies that we are discouraged, and placing both hands on our forehead means that we are in serious thought or very distressed.

The body follows our moods or, in other words, it is the prolongation of what is going on in our head and inversely, it can produce moods. Our body will thus take on a different posture for each mood experienced. Those that we adopt help us to overcome difficulties and better live out our daily life in general. For example, the posture that we take when we are sad is used to console ourselves. Each emotional state implies a change in our organism's equilibrium. Posture which comforts us helps us reestablish our metabolic balance. The body functions in synergy with our brain to better face changes in our social and physical environment. For example, if we are cold, we will spontaneously adopt a posture which will diminish the loss of heat, i.e. crouching down.

Thus, the posture that we have when we go to bed before falling asleep indicates what is bothering us the most socially. In fact, if we have problems of acceptance and being recognized in our surroundings, we will put our thumbs under our arms and our hands on our pectorals: this posture signifies that we are confident of ourselves. We have surely seen a business man who takes the edge of his vest with his hands while pointing his thumbs up and out. When we fall asleep at night in the position of self confidence, we preserve our self-esteem. Not being considered by our neighbors is emotionally destabilizing and that makes us dispense lots of energy in order to protect our psychological integrity. This posture energizes us and reassures us of our value as a person. It is as if our body is telling us that we are good and intelligent.

Always when we fall asleep, if we experience a moment of isolation or loneliness, our body will adopt spontaneously the position of the egg. This safe position lets us give ourselves human warmth. In fact, isolation reflects a psychological state of great insecurity. On the other hand, in the case where we find ourselves having to make important decisions, we will sleep on our side, an open hand on our head, in a way of making it easier to make a decision and to avoid anxiety. And this will go on for each worry: we will always take on a position which will contribute to helping us maintain mental health.

The second function of posture concerns sociability. Our body will take positions which will change depending on the quality and the type of the relation that we have with those around us and close to us. If we are constantly moving in the presence of someone, this means that we are not at ease with them. In this circumstance, it is preferable to leave this person as quick as possible because our body is having trouble reestablishing its equilibrium. In the contrary case, we will not move as much because we are relaxed. When someone is indifferent to us, we will adopt a posture favoring the feeling of security and the preservation of self-esteem. On the other hand, if we get a feeling of well-being from them, we will be led to find a comfortable position to profit from it as much as possible. The body, no matter what the circumstances, is continually used in our relations with others, whether to protect ourselves from them or to bring them well-being.

It thus transmits precious information through emotional communication. In the presence of a person, our posture will change in function to the emotions which will emerge. Thus, if she says things which make us sad, we will adopt a posture informing her of this mood. This emotional communication is important so that the other one can faithfully react to our experiences. In a discussion, for example, we must constantly adjust our emotions to the other's mood, as well as by word and by posture. For example, if my partner is sad, my body will take on a posture emitting an emotional message to console her.

Emotional communication is always produced in real time while in verbal or intellectual communications, we express things that happened in the past or which will happen at a later time. Emotional communication between two people is continuous and is done simultaneously with intellectual communication. Yet, this latter is completely absent during a exchange of affection. Thus, during a discussion with our partner, we can only take notice of what is said verbally. On the other hand, all while intellectually analyzing the words, it is preferable to stay in contact with our emotions to feel their emotions.

There are thus two forms of conscious - one rational and the other corporal. Rational conscious calls on our intelligence or on our power of thinking to interpret situations and even our internal experiences. As for corporal conscious, it refers to the body as a whole to spontaneously analyze events. The result of these interpretations are the emotions which it makes us experience. We have feelings due to our corporal conscious. This also makes our body react and induces in us unconscious behaviors through the autonomic nervous system so that we can adapt ourselves to situations. We can use our rational conscious to analyze the corporal one in order to discover where our emotions are coming from. It is also possible to feel our emotions without intellectualizing them, by concentrating on our body to force our mind not to think about anything. In other words, we should listen actively to the life within us as we listen to music.

This ability to concentrate in order to listen to our bodies is a skill which can be developed with practice. This sensitive skill is important to better live and profit from the benefits of affection. Our sensitivity lets us thus be aware of our partner to better react to her. In other words, it is necessary to obtain effective emotional communication and to decode the symbolism of their posture.

In the first place, it is through our posture that we tell our partner that we need affection. This is characterized by a relaxation in our muscle tone. We are continuously urged to sit and to stretch out as if we are tired. Once they have received the message, we adopt another posture which will be used to prepare the ground for an exchange of affection. This is emotionally expressed by our opening up to receive the other in our intimacy. That is to say that it implies the removal of some of our masks so that our partner feels that she has nothing to fear from us. Postures preparing for affection can vary from one person to another, but they all have common characteristics: they all suggest an emotional opening up, usually our arms are away from our body and our legs are separated from each other. We are relaxed as if in a state of physical exhaustion by placing ourselves in a state of vulnerability. It is thus very reassuring to our partner to see us as vulnerable and it is then from this emotion of safety that she can emotionally abandon herself.

Inversely, in a situation of danger when faced with an eventual aggression, our body will curve, we will look for solid ground on the floor, a wall, a pole or a tree and we will curl up to protect ourselves by reducing our body surface exposed to blows. The posture of absolute protection is described as follows: we crouch down to form a ball with our body, our knees pull into our stomach, our hands are placed behind our heads, our chin will be placed against our neck and all of our muscles will be strongly contracted, reflecting our state of immense tension. On the other hand, the posture that we adopt before an exchange of affection represents a state of absolute security. It is characterized mostly by extreme muscular relaxation, with our body members stretched out and open. When we feel good, we stop fighting earthly attraction and we sink down into an armchair or bed.

After posture has played its preparation role, kinetic gestures come into play. Posture influences the way of behaving in an exclusively passive way because everything is happening at the level of corporal conscious while kinetic ones induce these behaviors passively as well as actively because we can decide which movements that we want to do. Affection is not a complete loss of control over our ability to evaluate things, because that would make us pass out unconscious. Thus, during an exchange of affection, we are completely conscious of everything that is going on. But this activity monopolizes our attention. Our thoughts only concern the well-being that we can bring to our partner. Thus our rational and corporal conscious become selective. They choose actions which are the most profitable for the body's well-being. Finally, during an exchange of affection, we become less sensitive to the sounds, sights and smells in our immediate environment. Thus, in the room where we are, we stop listening to the radio, television, refrigerator, our attention is completely channeled into our partner and we no longer detect the smell of the food cooking.

Since, physical abandon corresponds to removing our masks to emotionally deliver ourselves using our body, we must also abandon ourselves at the rational level. Letting go of ourselves rationally, means not worrying about the consequences of our actions. Thus, making the decision to physically abandon ourselves is a crazy thing for us to do. We must take risks in order to trust our partner, because she can profit from our state of vulnerability to hurt us.

Kinetic gestures enter into play as much in rational abandon as in physical abandon. Rational abandon during an exchange of affection means giving free course to our imagination. Affectionate actions are executed in an imaginary state free of judgment. Rational abandon is no longer judging or evaluating the situation to concentrate on our partner and what is going on inside of ourselves, so that we can fully live for the present moment. During an exchange of affection, it is important for us to concentrate in order to avoid that our mind strays toward our daily worries. By concentration, we can direct our actions, caresses and hugs according to a scheme of emotional references established by experience.

In fact, kinetic gestures are made up of a combination of rational and spontaneous ideas. With rational ideas, we decide to place ourselves in a situation which will favor the appearance of spontaneous behavior. In winter, for example, we know that we can get pleasure by taking a sled and sliding down a snow covered hill. Sledding is an activity which is a form of abandon, thus the less control we have on the speed and the direction of the sled, the greater the pleasure will be. As such, in an exchange of affection, the more we let ourselves react spontaneously to the feelings that our partner's body makes us experience, the more well-being we will get.

Affectionate behavior is made up of an active and passive aspect. Affectionate drive corresponds to the active state. Being active means acting in order to obtain a reaction from the other. So receiving affection corresponds to the passive state. Being passive means appreciating what our partner is making us experience. Finally, during an exchange of affection, we receive and give simultaneously. In fact, it is impossible to stay completely passive because this will provoke a feeling of helplessness which will make us put our masks back up. We are helpless to the effects of affection, but we don't lose control over ourselves. This feeling of helplessness is very insecure and it is experienced in cases of accidents or physical aggression. Thus, as soon as we receive affection, we are pushed to give also to feel secure.

A human body corresponds to the greatest source of well-being and pleasure for another human body. It is a source of beneficial and precious energy. Pleasure comes as much from the fact of giving affection as receiving it. By caressing and hugging in our partners arms, we capture all of their energy; by letting ourselves be touched, we receive intense attention which will make us feel good. The feeling of a body which abandons itself in our arms gives us great pleasure and a feeling that we are valuable. The body of our partner is a ball of warmth and emotions which act on our emotional state which it is affecting so that we perceive her as the most important person in the world.

As I was saying beforehand, each kinetic gesture and posture is recognized by the brain and provokes in us a physiological and psychological reaction which is always the same from one time to another. So the body has intrinsically a very precise goal; to produce endorphins to induce a state of well-being necessary to its proper functioning. An exchange of affection is a succession of actions and reactions. One kinetic gesture leads one to another in reaction to the pleasure that it gives, to us and to our partner. The more we caress each other, the more the pleasure increases, the more we will caress.

Kinetic gestures of affection are done in a passionate state. They can be compared to movements of waves on the beach. Kinetic drive corresponds to the phase where the water rises and falls on the beach and the pleasure, to the phase where the water lowers towards the open sea. Each of our movements contains a large quantity of emotional energy which overflows to bring well-being to our partner. After a hug, there is no moment of stopping to fill it up with energy and to allow us to appreciate their pleasurable effects. Energy that a kinetic gesture contains corresponds to passion. And this holds in all feelings that we feel for our partner.

An exchange of affection is not a premeditated action. It comes spontaneously without us having to think about it. Passion which lives in us sets off the process when we are in our partner's presence. Our body uses our partner's body to forfeit its need for security. This use is not done rationally, but rather unconsciously. It is a manipulation which however is not abuse because it is not done at the detriment of the other. In fact, in an exchange of affection, two people are consciously and unconsciously consenting to the fact of being used by the other. In other words, the more we use our partner for our pleasure, the more she will use us. Finally, an exchange of affection is mutual consent to be used as a source of pleasure for the other.

When we abandon ourselves emotionally, we have the feeling of possessing the other. The need for affection implies the need to possess the other for our own well being. A mother belongs to her baby and not the inverse, because the baby takes everything from his mother and gives nothing back in return. While in a loving relationship, there is equality. Just as we become the property of our partner, she becomes our property. Abandon means thus, no longer belonging to ourselves. By affectionate actions, we keep the other psychologically captive to feed off their emotional energy.

Feeding off our partner's energy is as much a source of pleasure as it is for her to feed off ours. An affectionate relationship is equal because the energy that our better half has drawn from us, we draw from her and in the same amount. Energy is constantly circulating from one body to another and from this, thus not one nor the other has a deficit of energy.

Affection makes up a combination of postures and kinetic gestures. Postures correspond to the passive part when we receive affection and kinetic gestures, to the active part when we give affection to others. It is through kinetic gestures that we make our partner feel that we love her. Psychologically speaking, by giving our partner pleasure, we prove to her that we deeply love her. The greatest proof of love lies then in the fact of physically giving ourselves to her.